


Camp War Hearts

by McKayRulez



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Camp Pining Hearts, Culture, Gen, Post-Steven Universe: The Movie, Random & Short, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 23:44:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20647661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKayRulez/pseuds/McKayRulez
Summary: Peridot's first experience with a fanwar.





	Camp War Hearts

As Steven and Spinel walked together into the colony hand in hand, they paused and watched as Peridot was waving her own hand, holding her tablet, frantically trying to get anyones attention that passed through the streets of Little Homeworld. 

An alien stuffed plushie hung behind her that held a sign in gem language. 

The Beetles peered down at a tablet in front of them confused. Off to Peridots left, Snowflake Obsidian and Biggs were cheerfully watching an old human tv, that was strangely wired to a street corner house patio, instead of indoors. 

To Peridots right, Bismuth was using human junkyard scraps to put together another old TV set and VCR. 

Steven observed this all curious, until Peridot caught sight and yelled for him. 

“STEVEN!” The green gem flailed. “OVER HERE!” 

“Hi Peri-” As Steven approached his greeting was cut short by Peridot abruptly shoving a tablet at his chest painfully. 

“SIGN THIS!” 

Steven paused confused, as he looked down at the tablet. “What is it?” 

“It’s a petition to make Camp Pining Hearts mandatory material for all gems to learn human culture!” Peridot announced proudly. “... And to make sure the Humans keep making more seasons forever and ever, until the end of time!…” She added excitedly.

She glanced at Spinel, who was peering down at what Steven was holding curiously, and took the tablet that the Beetles were finished with and pushed it to her as well. “You too! Sign!” 

Steven blinked. “Uh.. Sure?” He glanced around for a stylus, but there wasn’t one, so he clumsily used his finger to write his name on the touch screen. 

Spinel stared at him, then looked down at her own tablet and bashed her gem onto it as her own mark and handed it back. 

Steven looked up startled, when Peridot snatched it from him immediately after and shoved it to Jasper walking by, who glanced down at it, then looked up at Peridot with obvious disdain, before continuing to walk past ignoring her. 

Peridot shook her fist at her in agitation, but before she could yell something, Steven gently pushed her arm down and spoke first. 

“So what’s this about?” 

Peridot sighed, then spoke in a tone that made Steven assume she had recited this same speech a hundred times, as Amethyst and a few more gems walked past.

“Now that Gems are no longer desolating the planets they live on, they have to learn how to live with organics. I figured the best way was to educate the populus with the best humankind has to offer! And that of course is-” She paused for effect they motioned for them to chime in. 

The two stared blankly for a moment, then Steven spoke up. “Crying Breakfast Friends?” 

Peridot frowned. “No.” 

“Cookie Cat?” Spinel questioned, then turned to Steven with a grin. “I love that show!” 

Steven grinned back. “I know, right! That’s my favourite too!” 

“No!” Peridot hissed. 

“You always choose the best!” Spinel praised, ignoring Peridot’s annoyance. She and Steven began singing Cookie Cat’s theme behind her. 

Amethyst poked her head in. “Little Butler?” 

“Still no!”

“Dogcopter?” 

“Camp Pining Hearts! Does anyone ever listen to me?!” She fumed, then bopped Amethyst’s shoulder with her tablet until the gem finally took it to sign.

Lapis flew over. “It’s good.. But it’s not that good..” 

“Oh stop being such a downer, Lapis and admit it’s great!” 

By the time their singing was done, Steven looked back to her. “Oh..” He rubbed the back of his neck, before giving her a kind sympathetic smile. “That’s a great idea Peridot-”

“I know.” She responded with pride, cutting him off. 

“But-” 

“What?” Annoyance heavy in her disapproving gaze. 

“That wouldn’t work for all planets.. Every species has their own cultures.. Even not all humans like Camp Pining Hearts..” 

Peridot felt like shattering as she stared at him wide eyed. “What?!” 

Steven continued on oblivious, “And it’s okay to show some human behaviors but not all humans are like that.. It’s a bit too dramatic and shippy..” 

Peridot pointed at Steven offended. “You take that back.” 

“Huh?.. Peridot, I-” 

Peridot jump tackled Steven to the ground, and the two began to wrestle. 

Spinel blinked blankly, then felt jealous. She through her hands up and jumped onto both of them to join the fight. 

“Hey! Could you quiet down a bit, please? Where trying to watch tv over here?” Snowflake asked. 

Biggs pointed at the group wrestle. “Nah girl. This is like Crying Breakfast Friends, but in real life!” She nudged her shoulder. “Get the camera!” 

The two recorded the fight and it was later published to the Diamond Authorities History records as just the beginning of the Great Gem Fandom War that was soon to come.


End file.
